My Birth Story

Since Megan was a breach baby and I had a c-section with her, I knew all along I would have one with this baby as well. And honestly, that was fine by me. I am perfectly happy having c-sections! My doctor was good enough to schedule a 7am c-section, which I have learned is a very wise thing. I pity those that have afternoon c-sections, because I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink after midnight. I’ve been chugging drinks like I live on the Equator, so the thought of not drinking for 7 hours had me all twitchy. I can’t imagine being awake all day and not getting to eat or drink!

The night before my c-section, we told Megan what would happen the next day. We explained that we wouldn’t be home when she woke up, but that we’d be at the hospital. She’d get to come to the hospital after she woke up and meet her baby sister. My mom stayed with Megan while we were in the hospital, so she was there for Megan when she got up. It was really weird knowing that the next morning, we’d have another family member. It also meant we had to decide on a name, because we really would have a baby the next day! So, we talked a bit more and decided.

We were told to get to the hospital at 5am. So, I woke up at about 4:15 so I could shower, dry my hair, and put a little makeup on (hey! I was going to have pictures taken that day!). We got to the hospital right at 5, and went to a prep room. I basically got monitored for awhile, got two bags of IV fluid, got to take a shot of this very odd-tasting thing (I forget the name, but oh, I was so glad to drink anything, even if it tasted bad!), got asked a ton of questions and laid around for a bit. At 6:45, I walked to the OR while my husband got into his sterile gear. They gave me the spinal (such a weird feeling when that starts taking effect!), brought Jay in, started the surgery, and at 7:07am, Emily Marie was born. She had a strong scream (the pediatrician later told us she had the “loudest scream in the nursery” – lucky us!) and was clearly not pleased. I love that sound, though. There’s so much life in those first cries, and it’s so comforting to hear. It made me all teary. Of course, they weighed her in the OR, and she was a whopping 9lbs 8oz. Considering I measured a few weeks behind for my entire pregnancy, I was NOT expecting such a big baby! But there she was, all pink and plump and healthy. And pissed.

Megan was a premie, so we saw her briefly in the OR, then she went to the NICU to be suctioned. We saw her a few hours later. But Emily was full-term, so my husband got to hold her in the OR, and the nurses took a picture of the three of us there, in all of our gear with our new little baby. Emily was wheeled to the recovery room with me, where she promptly latched on and started nursing. It took a lot of work to get Megan to nurse, so having Emily latch right away like that was so exciting! She hung out with us in recovery for a bit, and then went to the nursery for her bath.

Not long after I moved to my hospital room, Emily joined us, as did Megan and my mom. Megan was excited to hold Emily, and was so sweet with her. She held her gently and just looked at her. She loved to sit in my hospital bed with me while I held Emily.


Emily is great. She lost a full pound in the hospital, but is gaining again and doing perfectly well. She nurses well, and we never had to supplement with her like we did with Megan. So far, she sleeps a lot and, with the exception of when she gets hungry, she doesn’t cry too often. I fully realize this will likely not continue to be the case, but just let me enjoy it for now, ok?

I’m great, too. I wanted to avoid pain meds if I could, and I did. I just needed ibuprofen for the discomfort, but really, I wasn’t in too much pain. I feel like I recovered so much faster with pain meds, too. I’m home and mobile and so, so happy to have a healthy baby at home, and a smaller belly!

Parents vs. Peds

Ever feel like gearing up with war paint as you head into an appointment with your pediatrician? Have you read numerous articles on the topic? Talked to every mom you know in person and some more via mesage boards?

All this so that you can gain the strength to stand up to your pediatrician and do for your child what you feel is the best care?? I recall this struggle with my second child -- my dearest son. He was a slow talker who had many ear infections as an infant. My gut or "Momtuition" told me something was off. I kept asking the doctor about it but he waved it aside at the 12 month visit and again at 18 month visit. At the next visit, after I got this information from a fellow mom, I insisted on getting a free evaluation (as offered by the state via the Early Childhood Intervention or ECI in Texas). They came and evaluated him with significant development delays!

I had a friend whose pediatrician decided her son had attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). The diagnosis never quite sat right with her - her momtuition was warning her. When none of the meds worked, she went to get a second opinion and a third. Finally the fourth doctor listened to her and her son is now getting therapy - not meds - for being on the autism spectrum. He is improving everyday and doing great.

I do not believe my pediatricians blindly, they are people who may know about medicine but they don't know your child. You do. What I learned is, as a Mom, I need to trust my gut - my Momtuition - when it comes to my kids, first and foremost.

It is still hard for me to talk about this topic because I didn't push as hard as I should have in my son's case when my gut told me otherwise and we are still feeling the effects of that. My only advice to Moms (new and experienced) everywhere is trust your Mom instinct, your Momtuition. It will not let you or your child down. Be a fool for your child's welfare. Let them mark you as "difficult" in their secret doctor charts. All that doesn't matter if you have your healthy child by your side. Because in a world filled with what-ifs, most of which lead to dark places, it is your job, MOM, to take the least treacherous path and be your child's warrior along the way to making him/her an independent, capable adult. Fight on, dear Mom-rior.

Since early intervention and therapy are the best weapons we have for developmental delays, here are a couple resources that list typical developmental milestones to watch for in your child:

• http://www.eci-lps.org/is_this_typical.html


• http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/actearly/

A new place, a new face...

Hi there! We just got back from our little cabin project in the woods (we've almost got a roof on!) and I'm ready to plunge back in to MomCheck full time again. Well, ok, so "full-time" for a mom with another 40+ hour/week job is slightly less than you might first imagine, so let's just say 'consistent time'.

Let me introduce myself. I'm the geek in the group. Well, actually, I'm the hippie in the group. Ok, I'm the hippie-geek. :) When the website doesn't work right, blame me. Or... don't blame me, but at least tell me, so that I can get it fixed!

This all sounded like such a great idea when our fearless leader pitched it: Start a website to help moms find quality child care for their most precious of charges. The hippie in me said, "Yes! We can change the world! We can revolutionize the process of finding childcare and, in the process, even change how childcare centers are held accountable! We will be a cog in the wheel of change! Power to the people!" And, then, they all threw some cold water on me and I calmed down a bit.

The geek in me thought, "Yeah, a website, that will be the easy part... the hard part will be touring all those childcare centers." Was I wrong. The website IS the easy part, then then there's all this data and changing the data and lots of ideas for expansion and pretty pictures...and... ... But, at least, it's the fun part! (don't tell my partners, though... I tell them it's lots of hard work!).

So here we are. We have the basic site up now, but we are busy every day adding enhancements and brainstorming more features.

I'll be waxing philosophically here about how I work on this site and in what is a very new, green company (we are a distributed, virtually paperless operation), while balancing my work and family life and trying to keep to my very green ideals (yes, still a tree-hugger!). Sometimes these things come into conflict for me - like using disposable diapers for the convenience so that I have more time for the website. Here I will share my personal struggle with this and my compromises and thought process along the way. As I find new and/or innovative ways or products that help me merge my ideals with real life, I'll share those as well.


See you soon!

MomCheck is now Open!

I know, it's been awhile since any of us has posted. We have a good reason, though - we are finally live with MomCheck.com. What a long time coming!

Starting a company is hard work. It's made even harder when it's 4 women who live on opposite sides of the City, have other jobs, and oh yes, let's not forget we're trying to be moms at the same time. In a normal world, people devote 40+ hours a week to their business. In our world, that was a combined total. Which means it took us about 4 times as long to get launched.

Our husbands and children have certainly been patient, so once we launched in early May, we all just took a breather and focused on quality family time. We're back now, ready to burst forward and help this company take off! Can't wait to see what's in store for us next.

It’s almost Mother’s Day, and all I want is a…mop?

This will be my last Mother’s Day as the mom of one. That’s so weird! It’s hard to believe I’m about to have two kids. And two girls! Pink, purple, dolls and princesses, oh my! Last year, I read an article in Parents magazine about the things moms want most for Mother’s Day – flowers, candy, etc. The most popular item? A day off. And seriously, who among us can’t relate with that? I love being a mom. So much that I want to quit my job to stay home and just be a mom. But at the same time, I really love a little “me” time here and there. Last year, I spent Mother’s Day afternoon shopping all by myself. It was heavenly. Better than, well, anything, quite frankly. Given my enormous belly, and the fact that no more children will be coming out of it after this one, shopping is out this year. I refuse to buy more maternity clothes, since they won’t get used again (ok, they might, because I’ll donate them, but they won’t be used by me, and if I’m the one paying for them, I have to justify the money spent on them!). The restaurant I hoped to have brunch at is booked until 2pm, which is entirely too late for me to have my second meal of the day (and before you criticize my husband for not booking in time, I will say he called a full week in advance, which is very unlike him, and they were still booked!), so we’ll have brunch there next weekend when throngs of people aren’t all looking to dine out at precisely the same time. Plus, my wonderful in-laws (seriously, they really are great) are out of town, so we can’t depend on them to cook. So, I’m out of ideas for places to eat, and I can’t go spend the day shopping, and as nice as prenatal massages are, well, they’re not nearly as good as the real thing, so that’s out, too.

But then I had a fabulous idea. We’re about to let our cleaning lady go, because it’s an expense we really won’t NEED once I quit work and stay home after this little girl is born. And, while I was cleaning my tile floors yesterday, all 826,452 square feet of them (ok, that might be an exaggeration, but it sure feels like a lot!), I thought – “A MOP!” And as soon as my husband came home from work yesterday, I told him about my wonderful idea for a gift. But not just a regular mop – a steam mop. I saw an infomercial on them and I’m sold. I mean, sweet deal – I can get my tile floors super clean with just water. Water! And I can toss the cleaning cloths in the wash, so they’re much more environmentally friendly than the disposable cloths I’ve been using, that surely aren’t as powerful as steam cleaning. And now that I’ve thought of this mop, I can’t think of much else. I really, really want a steam mop.

Who’d have thought the most exciting gift idea would be a mop? I must really be a mom now.

Happy Mother's Day

I originally wrote this for my mom 2 years ago when I was a writer for ClubMom. I received so much positive feedback from other women who completely identified with it, I thought I'd re-run it here, to benefit a new audience.

Ode to My Mother

When I was a baby, my mother was my lifeline. We shared the wonder of new life together. I, in my eagerness to explore this new world and her, in her eagerness to explore this new being, formed an instant bond founded upon unconditional, unequivocal love. There is such safety, such security, in the knowledge of this love. From it, we both sprang forward into unchartered territories, eager to remain partners in this journey through life. From sweet lullabies and baby powder, to bright colors and action, we moved through babyhood at an alarming rate of speed and are left with snapshots and memories that make us both smile.

When I was a little girl, my mother was my best playmate. We shared secrets, cookies, giggles, and fun. She taught me to read and we spent hours exploring the worlds of Dr. Seuss. She showed me her love every day, in every way. It was in her hands as she guided them in the cookie dough, in her kiss when her magic mommy touch took away my boo-boos, in her smile as she watched me traipse off to school, and in her tears as she watched me grow into a young lady. I returned that show of love in my own way. It was in my macaroni necklaces, my flower bouquets from her garden, my painstaking attempts to imitate her, and my hastily-given kisses as I run out the door to play.

When I became a teenager, my mother was an enigma. She was my biggest champion, no matter how many times I tried to knock her down. I turned to her when it was convenient for me, and turned against her for that same convenience. And yet, she remained a rock – solid in her love, never wavering from her devotion, never yielding to my demands, and never daunted by the task of raising such an ungrateful being. She showed her love by her silence during my tirades, her stubbornness for curfews, her insistence at knowing my friends, her dinnertime together rule, and her understanding about the angst I was feeling. I returned this love by throwing tantrums, intentionally wounding with words, and my determination not to become the wonderful woman she knew I was.

When I became a young adult, my mother was my advisor. She gave me advice on everything from making a meatloaf to choosing a career. I moved far away, I think, in attempt to distance myself from this woman (where my most recent memories were the trauma-drama of the teenage years). And yet, this proved to strengthen our bond. The miles between us, and the time between phone calls, forced our relationship to rely not on the day-to-day details of life for communication, but rather on current events, political platforms, dreams for the future, and analysis of the past. Through this, I came to know my mother as a real person, not just my mother. I’ve been privy to her strengths and weaknesses, her hopes and desires, her regrets and triumphs. And in them, I have seen myself. I have learned we cannot run from our roots, as they are in us, and are us.

When I became a mother, my mother became a grandmother. Not for the first time, and probably not for the last, but she became my son’s grandmother, and in that I see her in yet another role, another facet of her personality. I see the sheer delight in both of their faces when we visit. The unadulterated love is there, and I ache at the tenderness of it, the innocence of it. Many years, and many inventions, have come to pass since she mothered me, but the principles are still the same. She teaches me this, passes on the tidbits of knowledge. I have spent my life adoring her, loving her, repelling her, seeking her – and now, as I make my own journey through motherhood, I realize I am now being her. All the life she breathed into me, all the beliefs she instilled in me, all the knowledge she imparted to me, all the love she gave me – all of these things live on. They are in me, and live through me, and I will pass it all on to my son. Her legacy will far outlive her body.

I am on the other side, now, a mother in my own right. Sometimes I am driven to my knees by the sheer force of my love for my son. I do not know how I will possibly live up to his expectations of me. And at these time, I remember - I’ve got my mom – my best friend, my soul mate, my teacher. She taught me well, and I know I will not fail.

Happy mother’s day, mom.

The What-You-Could-Have-Been Show for Moms

It finally happened. Instead of creating television shows for us to watch, The Learning Channel created a show for us to star in called The Secret Life of a Soccer Mom. For those of you who haven't heard of it, the premise is to take a typical stay-at-home mom and let her see what her life could have been like if she had pursued her career instead of staying home to take care of the family.

The episode I watched recently was about a mom that wanted to be a police officer and got the chance to go through boot camp!! She is in the typical shape for a busy mom, too-busy-to-take-care-of-myself-because-the-family-comes-first shape! And she had to scale a wall!! She did better than I would have but it was still a cringe moment.

The concept is interesting. To give us a chance at the greener grass on the other side. But it was bittersweet because at the end of the day, this particular mom, even though she wanted to pursue more of the career option, couldn't because of her husband voted against it.

So I ask you, does this show help us or is it a dangling carrot that we shouldn't bother pursuing?? I think I'd try it but only as a vacation from my regular life.