I have had several favorite quotes throughout my life - my current favorite came from one of my business partners and I have shamelessly stolen it from her for my own use:
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."
- Ghandi
It's so incredibly profound, and yet so simple. It reminds me of my goals, and reminds me to act today, not tomorrow, and it IS up to me to change the world.
I printed it out in fancy font & borders and all other nonsense, and posted it in my office above my big whiteboard, so it catches my eye all day long and helps keep me a little more focused.
Feel free to shamlessly steal it from me, too.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
God bless the sling.
When Emily was about a month old, we attended a baby shower at a friend’s house. I meant to bring my Baby Bjorn, just in case she’d hang out in it, but left it at home. But while at the shower, my friend offered her sling to me to use during the night. It was awesome. Emily slept the whole evening. At the end of the night, my friend told me to keep the sling, as her kids have outgrown it. God bless her, and God bless the sling.
I have learned how to wear Emily in it in a few positions – laying down, and sitting. She falls asleep in both. And she sleeps well. And, I can breastfeed without anyone knowing what I’m doing. Emily has this knack for knowing exactly when I’m about to eat, and making sure I don’t get a hot meal. I literally picked up my fork last night, stuck it in a piece of salad, and she woke up and started crying. Awesome. So, I’ve been putting her in the sling and feeding her while I eat, because it gives me a free hand, and I can feed her either at home or in public without anyone knowing. And while breastfeeding in public should be fine, I’m just a little too modest to do it. But the sling makes it easy. I fed her tonight while eating dinner, and my dad had no idea. He said, “Has she just been asleep this whole time?!” and I had to tell him that no, she hadn’t – she’d been eating nonstop for 30 minutes. It’s a gift, I think.
Anyway, I use that sling every day. It was perfect when she was a newborn with hardly any head control, and perfect now that she has more control and likes to look around a bit. She’s comfortable, I’m pretty comfortable, and I can eat, pick up toys, vacuum, you name it. It’s also how I kept Emily on the plane. It was easy to wear her through the airport, and she ate and slept peacefully on the plane.
So, God bless the sling. It’s a beautiful invention.
I have learned how to wear Emily in it in a few positions – laying down, and sitting. She falls asleep in both. And she sleeps well. And, I can breastfeed without anyone knowing what I’m doing. Emily has this knack for knowing exactly when I’m about to eat, and making sure I don’t get a hot meal. I literally picked up my fork last night, stuck it in a piece of salad, and she woke up and started crying. Awesome. So, I’ve been putting her in the sling and feeding her while I eat, because it gives me a free hand, and I can feed her either at home or in public without anyone knowing. And while breastfeeding in public should be fine, I’m just a little too modest to do it. But the sling makes it easy. I fed her tonight while eating dinner, and my dad had no idea. He said, “Has she just been asleep this whole time?!” and I had to tell him that no, she hadn’t – she’d been eating nonstop for 30 minutes. It’s a gift, I think.
Anyway, I use that sling every day. It was perfect when she was a newborn with hardly any head control, and perfect now that she has more control and likes to look around a bit. She’s comfortable, I’m pretty comfortable, and I can eat, pick up toys, vacuum, you name it. It’s also how I kept Emily on the plane. It was easy to wear her through the airport, and she ate and slept peacefully on the plane.
So, God bless the sling. It’s a beautiful invention.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Evening News Rating - 'R'
I try to monitor what my kids watch on TV. I make sure the shows have a good mix of fun and information. So it would make sense that we would want to include the local, national and world news in that mix. After all, knowledge is key to raising socially responsible and involved citizens, right? So how do you explain the news to a 7 year old when it starts off with the war with the happy story about release of hostages after years of imprisonment. These are truths that I don't want to expose her delicate psyche to yet. Still, that is what is in the news these days.
So I have stopped watching the evening news on the television in our home. We get our news online where I can control what the kids hear -- I read it to them or have them read specific stories. I go to sites like HappyNews.com which tries to deliver the positive side of the news. Its focus may not tell you what is happening in the Iraqi War but it will tell you the human side the world with a more local news feel to it. If the world was filled with all the bad, negative things we hear on the usual evening news then I would be hesitant to set foot out of my front door. So how could our children ever feel secure or safe? Am I too protective of them? Am I taking the easy way out? Or is it alright at such a young age?
I hope I am still enabling them to grow to be involved and active citizens of our great country. I'm not sure (are we ever as parents?) but I am doing what I think is right by them.
So I have stopped watching the evening news on the television in our home. We get our news online where I can control what the kids hear -- I read it to them or have them read specific stories. I go to sites like HappyNews.com which tries to deliver the positive side of the news. Its focus may not tell you what is happening in the Iraqi War but it will tell you the human side the world with a more local news feel to it. If the world was filled with all the bad, negative things we hear on the usual evening news then I would be hesitant to set foot out of my front door. So how could our children ever feel secure or safe? Am I too protective of them? Am I taking the easy way out? Or is it alright at such a young age?
I hope I am still enabling them to grow to be involved and active citizens of our great country. I'm not sure (are we ever as parents?) but I am doing what I think is right by them.
Monday, July 14, 2008
The Worst Advice Ever For A Pregnant Woman
Well, word to the wise around here...don't drink the water. It seems we're all pregnant, or just gave birth, or are attending to new arrivals in extended family. So while we were already all moms, launching a company for moms...we're now all enjoying another trip through motherhood. Which got me thinking about the months I have ahead of me and how I'll handle them the second time around with a lot more things on my plate. One thing I won't do? Fall prey again to this man (or one like him). Enjoy the chuckle at my expense as I relate to you the worst advice I have received while pregnant. (And please - send good thoughts my way that this entry will retain the Worst Advice title once this pregnancy is over.)
When I was about 6 months pregnant, a man whom I did not know at work cornered me in the break room to give me advice about what to do when I had my baby. Few things immediately come to mind, don't they?
1. Hormones & baby advice don't play well together.
2. Hormones & baby advice from a stranger really don't play well together.
3. Hormones & baby advice from a stranger who is a man - well, them's just fightin' words all 'round.
He was an older man, and had bad breath, but that's not important to the story (though it would have probably played a prominent role if I was still in 1st trimester all-day sickness mode). He had me cornered for about 45 minutes talking to me about febrile seizures and how they're perfectly normal and I shouldn't freak out at all when it happens and no need to go to the hospital or anything. My baby will eventually outgrow them, so I need to just be calm about it and boy aren't I glad he knows all about it and can save me the stress, right? No problem, he just sees it as his duty to help out others when he can.
....
Let's pause for a moment and consider the ramifications of talking to a 1st time pregnant lady with borderline obsessive-compulsive tendencies with most definitely a Type A++ personality about Things That Will Go Wrong.
Okay, first? He owes my employer a heck of a lot of payroll dollars for all the time over the next few months I spent frantically googling "febrile seizures", and long distance charges for me to read aloud articles to my friends and get their opinions. (and later - maybe some of my pediatrician's salary for having to talk to me repeatedly about it. Would love to see my secret chart from those first 6 months.)
Second? Total liar. Febrile Seizures are not normal! Sure, they may not be an indicator of dire diseases or anything, but they ARE far from normal.
Third? Total jerk. Seriously. I ended up moving across country before I had my febrile-seizure-free baby, but if I still lived there I think I'd wait for him some night in the parking lot and just...I don't know...kick him in the shins or something. It's been almost 5 years now and I still think about doing this a lot. I do have some vacation time....no, no, no.
In any case, that really took the cake for me on the bad advice thing. I will never forgive that man. My hairdresser I forgave after the bangs grew out, but the febrile-seizures?? Nah - I'll be lugging that story around forever.
And PS - the best advice? That good enough is, really, good enough.
When I was about 6 months pregnant, a man whom I did not know at work cornered me in the break room to give me advice about what to do when I had my baby. Few things immediately come to mind, don't they?
1. Hormones & baby advice don't play well together.
2. Hormones & baby advice from a stranger really don't play well together.
3. Hormones & baby advice from a stranger who is a man - well, them's just fightin' words all 'round.
He was an older man, and had bad breath, but that's not important to the story (though it would have probably played a prominent role if I was still in 1st trimester all-day sickness mode). He had me cornered for about 45 minutes talking to me about febrile seizures and how they're perfectly normal and I shouldn't freak out at all when it happens and no need to go to the hospital or anything. My baby will eventually outgrow them, so I need to just be calm about it and boy aren't I glad he knows all about it and can save me the stress, right? No problem, he just sees it as his duty to help out others when he can.
....
Let's pause for a moment and consider the ramifications of talking to a 1st time pregnant lady with borderline obsessive-compulsive tendencies with most definitely a Type A++ personality about Things That Will Go Wrong.
Okay, first? He owes my employer a heck of a lot of payroll dollars for all the time over the next few months I spent frantically googling "febrile seizures", and long distance charges for me to read aloud articles to my friends and get their opinions. (and later - maybe some of my pediatrician's salary for having to talk to me repeatedly about it. Would love to see my secret chart from those first 6 months.)
Second? Total liar. Febrile Seizures are not normal! Sure, they may not be an indicator of dire diseases or anything, but they ARE far from normal.
Third? Total jerk. Seriously. I ended up moving across country before I had my febrile-seizure-free baby, but if I still lived there I think I'd wait for him some night in the parking lot and just...I don't know...kick him in the shins or something. It's been almost 5 years now and I still think about doing this a lot. I do have some vacation time....no, no, no.
In any case, that really took the cake for me on the bad advice thing. I will never forgive that man. My hairdresser I forgave after the bangs grew out, but the febrile-seizures?? Nah - I'll be lugging that story around forever.
And PS - the best advice? That good enough is, really, good enough.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
My Birth Story
Since Megan was a breach baby and I had a c-section with her, I knew all along I would have one with this baby as well. And honestly, that was fine by me. I am perfectly happy having c-sections! My doctor was good enough to schedule a 7am c-section, which I have learned is a very wise thing. I pity those that have afternoon c-sections, because I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink after midnight. I’ve been chugging drinks like I live on the Equator, so the thought of not drinking for 7 hours had me all twitchy. I can’t imagine being awake all day and not getting to eat or drink!
The night before my c-section, we told Megan what would happen the next day. We explained that we wouldn’t be home when she woke up, but that we’d be at the hospital. She’d get to come to the hospital after she woke up and meet her baby sister. My mom stayed with Megan while we were in the hospital, so she was there for Megan when she got up. It was really weird knowing that the next morning, we’d have another family member. It also meant we had to decide on a name, because we really would have a baby the next day! So, we talked a bit more and decided.
We were told to get to the hospital at 5am. So, I woke up at about 4:15 so I could shower, dry my hair, and put a little makeup on (hey! I was going to have pictures taken that day!). We got to the hospital right at 5, and went to a prep room. I basically got monitored for awhile, got two bags of IV fluid, got to take a shot of this very odd-tasting thing (I forget the name, but oh, I was so glad to drink anything, even if it tasted bad!), got asked a ton of questions and laid around for a bit. At 6:45, I walked to the OR while my husband got into his sterile gear. They gave me the spinal (such a weird feeling when that starts taking effect!), brought Jay in, started the surgery, and at 7:07am, Emily Marie was born. She had a strong scream (the pediatrician later told us she had the “loudest scream in the nursery” – lucky us!) and was clearly not pleased. I love that sound, though. There’s so much life in those first cries, and it’s so comforting to hear. It made me all teary. Of course, they weighed her in the OR, and she was a whopping 9lbs 8oz. Considering I measured a few weeks behind for my entire pregnancy, I was NOT expecting such a big baby! But there she was, all pink and plump and healthy. And pissed.
Megan was a premie, so we saw her briefly in the OR, then she went to the NICU to be suctioned. We saw her a few hours later. But Emily was full-term, so my husband got to hold her in the OR, and the nurses took a picture of the three of us there, in all of our gear with our new little baby. Emily was wheeled to the recovery room with me, where she promptly latched on and started nursing. It took a lot of work to get Megan to nurse, so having Emily latch right away like that was so exciting! She hung out with us in recovery for a bit, and then went to the nursery for her bath.
Not long after I moved to my hospital room, Emily joined us, as did Megan and my mom. Megan was excited to hold Emily, and was so sweet with her. She held her gently and just looked at her. She loved to sit in my hospital bed with me while I held Emily.
Emily is great. She lost a full pound in the hospital, but is gaining again and doing perfectly well. She nurses well, and we never had to supplement with her like we did with Megan. So far, she sleeps a lot and, with the exception of when she gets hungry, she doesn’t cry too often. I fully realize this will likely not continue to be the case, but just let me enjoy it for now, ok?
I’m great, too. I wanted to avoid pain meds if I could, and I did. I just needed ibuprofen for the discomfort, but really, I wasn’t in too much pain. I feel like I recovered so much faster with pain meds, too. I’m home and mobile and so, so happy to have a healthy baby at home, and a smaller belly!
The night before my c-section, we told Megan what would happen the next day. We explained that we wouldn’t be home when she woke up, but that we’d be at the hospital. She’d get to come to the hospital after she woke up and meet her baby sister. My mom stayed with Megan while we were in the hospital, so she was there for Megan when she got up. It was really weird knowing that the next morning, we’d have another family member. It also meant we had to decide on a name, because we really would have a baby the next day! So, we talked a bit more and decided.
We were told to get to the hospital at 5am. So, I woke up at about 4:15 so I could shower, dry my hair, and put a little makeup on (hey! I was going to have pictures taken that day!). We got to the hospital right at 5, and went to a prep room. I basically got monitored for awhile, got two bags of IV fluid, got to take a shot of this very odd-tasting thing (I forget the name, but oh, I was so glad to drink anything, even if it tasted bad!), got asked a ton of questions and laid around for a bit. At 6:45, I walked to the OR while my husband got into his sterile gear. They gave me the spinal (such a weird feeling when that starts taking effect!), brought Jay in, started the surgery, and at 7:07am, Emily Marie was born. She had a strong scream (the pediatrician later told us she had the “loudest scream in the nursery” – lucky us!) and was clearly not pleased. I love that sound, though. There’s so much life in those first cries, and it’s so comforting to hear. It made me all teary. Of course, they weighed her in the OR, and she was a whopping 9lbs 8oz. Considering I measured a few weeks behind for my entire pregnancy, I was NOT expecting such a big baby! But there she was, all pink and plump and healthy. And pissed.
Megan was a premie, so we saw her briefly in the OR, then she went to the NICU to be suctioned. We saw her a few hours later. But Emily was full-term, so my husband got to hold her in the OR, and the nurses took a picture of the three of us there, in all of our gear with our new little baby. Emily was wheeled to the recovery room with me, where she promptly latched on and started nursing. It took a lot of work to get Megan to nurse, so having Emily latch right away like that was so exciting! She hung out with us in recovery for a bit, and then went to the nursery for her bath.
Not long after I moved to my hospital room, Emily joined us, as did Megan and my mom. Megan was excited to hold Emily, and was so sweet with her. She held her gently and just looked at her. She loved to sit in my hospital bed with me while I held Emily.
Emily is great. She lost a full pound in the hospital, but is gaining again and doing perfectly well. She nurses well, and we never had to supplement with her like we did with Megan. So far, she sleeps a lot and, with the exception of when she gets hungry, she doesn’t cry too often. I fully realize this will likely not continue to be the case, but just let me enjoy it for now, ok?
I’m great, too. I wanted to avoid pain meds if I could, and I did. I just needed ibuprofen for the discomfort, but really, I wasn’t in too much pain. I feel like I recovered so much faster with pain meds, too. I’m home and mobile and so, so happy to have a healthy baby at home, and a smaller belly!
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Parents vs. Peds
Ever feel like gearing up with war paint as you head into an appointment with your pediatrician? Have you read numerous articles on the topic? Talked to every mom you know in person and some more via mesage boards?
All this so that you can gain the strength to stand up to your pediatrician and do for your child what you feel is the best care?? I recall this struggle with my second child -- my dearest son. He was a slow talker who had many ear infections as an infant. My gut or "Momtuition" told me something was off. I kept asking the doctor about it but he waved it aside at the 12 month visit and again at 18 month visit. At the next visit, after I got this information from a fellow mom, I insisted on getting a free evaluation (as offered by the state via the Early Childhood Intervention or ECI in Texas). They came and evaluated him with significant development delays!
I had a friend whose pediatrician decided her son had attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). The diagnosis never quite sat right with her - her momtuition was warning her. When none of the meds worked, she went to get a second opinion and a third. Finally the fourth doctor listened to her and her son is now getting therapy - not meds - for being on the autism spectrum. He is improving everyday and doing great.
I do not believe my pediatricians blindly, they are people who may know about medicine but they don't know your child. You do. What I learned is, as a Mom, I need to trust my gut - my Momtuition - when it comes to my kids, first and foremost.
All this so that you can gain the strength to stand up to your pediatrician and do for your child what you feel is the best care?? I recall this struggle with my second child -- my dearest son. He was a slow talker who had many ear infections as an infant. My gut or "Momtuition" told me something was off. I kept asking the doctor about it but he waved it aside at the 12 month visit and again at 18 month visit. At the next visit, after I got this information from a fellow mom, I insisted on getting a free evaluation (as offered by the state via the Early Childhood Intervention or ECI in Texas). They came and evaluated him with significant development delays!
I had a friend whose pediatrician decided her son had attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). The diagnosis never quite sat right with her - her momtuition was warning her. When none of the meds worked, she went to get a second opinion and a third. Finally the fourth doctor listened to her and her son is now getting therapy - not meds - for being on the autism spectrum. He is improving everyday and doing great.
I do not believe my pediatricians blindly, they are people who may know about medicine but they don't know your child. You do. What I learned is, as a Mom, I need to trust my gut - my Momtuition - when it comes to my kids, first and foremost.
It is still hard for me to talk about this topic because I didn't push as hard as I should have in my son's case when my gut told me otherwise and we are still feeling the effects of that. My only advice to Moms (new and experienced) everywhere is trust your Mom instinct, your Momtuition. It will not let you or your child down. Be a fool for your child's welfare. Let them mark you as "difficult" in their secret doctor charts. All that doesn't matter if you have your healthy child by your side. Because in a world filled with what-ifs, most of which lead to dark places, it is your job, MOM, to take the least treacherous path and be your child's warrior along the way to making him/her an independent, capable adult. Fight on, dear Mom-rior.
Since early intervention and therapy are the best weapons we have for developmental delays, here are a couple resources that list typical developmental milestones to watch for in your child:
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
A new place, a new face...
Hi there! We just got back from our little cabin project in the woods (we've almost got a roof on!) and I'm ready to plunge back in to MomCheck full time again. Well, ok, so "full-time" for a mom with another 40+ hour/week job is slightly less than you might first imagine, so let's just say 'consistent time'.
Let me introduce myself. I'm the geek in the group. Well, actually, I'm the hippie in the group. Ok, I'm the hippie-geek. :) When the website doesn't work right, blame me. Or... don't blame me, but at least tell me, so that I can get it fixed!
This all sounded like such a great idea when our fearless leader pitched it: Start a website to help moms find quality child care for their most precious of charges. The hippie in me said, "Yes! We can change the world! We can revolutionize the process of finding childcare and, in the process, even change how childcare centers are held accountable! We will be a cog in the wheel of change! Power to the people!" And, then, they all threw some cold water on me and I calmed down a bit.
The geek in me thought, "Yeah, a website, that will be the easy part... the hard part will be touring all those childcare centers." Was I wrong. The website IS the easy part, then then there's all this data and changing the data and lots of ideas for expansion and pretty pictures...and... ... But, at least, it's the fun part! (don't tell my partners, though... I tell them it's lots of hard work!).
So here we are. We have the basic site up now, but we are busy every day adding enhancements and brainstorming more features.
I'll be waxing philosophically here about how I work on this site and in what is a very new, green company (we are a distributed, virtually paperless operation), while balancing my work and family life and trying to keep to my very green ideals (yes, still a tree-hugger!). Sometimes these things come into conflict for me - like using disposable diapers for the convenience so that I have more time for the website. Here I will share my personal struggle with this and my compromises and thought process along the way. As I find new and/or innovative ways or products that help me merge my ideals with real life, I'll share those as well.
See you soon!
Let me introduce myself. I'm the geek in the group. Well, actually, I'm the hippie in the group. Ok, I'm the hippie-geek. :) When the website doesn't work right, blame me. Or... don't blame me, but at least tell me, so that I can get it fixed!
This all sounded like such a great idea when our fearless leader pitched it: Start a website to help moms find quality child care for their most precious of charges. The hippie in me said, "Yes! We can change the world! We can revolutionize the process of finding childcare and, in the process, even change how childcare centers are held accountable! We will be a cog in the wheel of change! Power to the people!" And, then, they all threw some cold water on me and I calmed down a bit.
The geek in me thought, "Yeah, a website, that will be the easy part... the hard part will be touring all those childcare centers." Was I wrong. The website IS the easy part, then then there's all this data and changing the data and lots of ideas for expansion and pretty pictures...and... ... But, at least, it's the fun part! (don't tell my partners, though... I tell them it's lots of hard work!).
So here we are. We have the basic site up now, but we are busy every day adding enhancements and brainstorming more features.
I'll be waxing philosophically here about how I work on this site and in what is a very new, green company (we are a distributed, virtually paperless operation), while balancing my work and family life and trying to keep to my very green ideals (yes, still a tree-hugger!). Sometimes these things come into conflict for me - like using disposable diapers for the convenience so that I have more time for the website. Here I will share my personal struggle with this and my compromises and thought process along the way. As I find new and/or innovative ways or products that help me merge my ideals with real life, I'll share those as well.
See you soon!
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