Random Acts of Kindness

It’s the little things, isn’t it? Sure, big, great gestures bring big, great rewards, but life is made up of little things. I am a big “giver,” obviously. I support several favorite charities monetarily, donate household items, volunteer time and services…I even serve on the Board of Directors for a charity. And these are all wonderful things that help keep this world going in positive directions. But – I crave the human interaction of the little things. Writing checks, filling up boxes, and attending meetings sure doesn’t fill me with the sense of satisfaction I get when I, say, pay for the coffee of the person behind me.

Random acts of kindness are sorely underrated. And I don’t think there are too many people out there who actively practice it. It’s a great theory, and we love hearing about them, but how often do you commit one? I consistently commit one a week – more if I can. I’m addicted to it, actually. Doing little things that completely brighten the day of someone else. It’s an instant mood booster for both parties. It’s so simple to do, too. Random acts of kindness aren’t big productions – they’re usually spur-of-the-moment, opportunity-knocks kinds of things. I really encourage you to start looking for these opportunities. You will be amazed how many will cross your path and how good you’ll feel when you seize the moment and commit the act. To help inspire your thinking, I’ve compiled a list here of some little things that I’ve done:

1. Pay for anything for anyone behind you – whether at the coffee shop, the toll booth, the drive-thru.

2. Compliment a stranger. Just stop them and say something nice. “Great shoes” is one I use a lot. I even stopped a lady one time on the street and told her I thought she was absolutely beautiful. And then I just kept walking.

3. Write a nice note for your child’s teacher.

4. In hot weather, take a few cold bottles of water out to the mailman or garbage man when you see them come by.

5. Report good customer service to the management while still in the store.

6. Give a dollar to the homeless person. Who cares what they do with it? Obviously, you’re doing better than they are – so spread the wealth a little.

7. Tip really big – leave a $20 next time.

8. Have flowers anonymously delivered to someone you know could use a boost.

9. Consider yourself the Traffic Fairy for one full day – let all cars turn or merge in front of you.

10. When you see one of our troops, stop and say thank you.

Even committing just one of these will make you feel like a better person and a little more connected to the world. Go on, give it a try. I have fabulous shoes and drink a lot of coffee, so I'll be on the lookout for you.

Quitting My Job

Before I went on maternity leave, I realized that our bonuses would be paid shortly after my FMLA time was up. So, I called our HR representative and asked her if I’d still get my bonus if I left after maternity leave, and she told me I’d need to be employed the day the bonus was paid to get it. The way it turned out, bonuses were paid out 4 days after FMLA was up. And while my bonuses wouldn’t be tens of thousands of dollars, on a single income family, my bonus was definitely meaningful. So I decided that I’d return to work for at least those 4 days to get my bonus. My mom travels a lot, too, so she volunteered to come down to watch the girls while I went to the office.

My original thought was to tell work that I was quitting while still on leave. I’d tell them I’d come in for a few days to transition any remaining items that needed to be, then go. But then, a lot of people told me I shouldn’t do that, because they could very well just tell me not to come back, and I’d lose out on the money. And then, I worried about just how to tell them and when. Did I lie, and start work on that first day and pretend I’d stay, and then once I had the bonus in hand, quit? Or should I just be honest, give them my notice on my first day back, and risk losing the bonus?

I went with the honest approach. Today is the day I had to return to the office. And this morning, I told my manager I was quitting. Actually, we went in a conference room together (since I work in a cube farm), and he said, “Are you quitting?” I told him I was, then said I did want to help transition and also hoped I could still get my bonus. And instead of ushering me out the door, he actually told me I should make my last day next Friday, basically giving my two week notice. When I told him I didn’t have childcare for next week, he said I could just work from home. Since I plan to transition everything this week, working from home should mean answering an odd email or phone call here and there. My manager said he and our VP expected me to quit, and went on to say he was personally very happy that I was making the decision I was. He’s got twin toddler boys, and his wife is home with them fulltime, so he understood where I was coming from completely and was totally supportive.

I’m so glad I just stuck with being honest. I’ve been able to set expectations this morning that while I’m here, I’m a short-timer, so I’m not taking back any big projects and can really focus on making sure all of the information on my computer that might someday matter to someone else is in someone else’s hands. Or on their computer!

It’s weird to be back here, though. Before I left, we moved to flex space, which meant that no one got their own desk. Everyone just gets in in the morning and finds a place to sit. It didn’t go over too well, but we adjusted. But the problem was, there weren’t enough parking spaces in the garage for everyone. As a short-term solution, they started a shuttle bus from a nearby building. So if you got in late, spent 10 minutes trying to find a spot in the garage and couldn’t, you then got to drive a few minutes away to find a spot in a different garage, then take a shuttle to the office, where you had to try to find a desk and do it all again in reverse after work. Before maternity leave, word was they were going to build a new parking lot, so the shuttle would be a short-term thing. When I drove in this morning, I saw a parking space counter just outside the garage. It literally tells you precisely how many spots are left in the garage, so you can turn around and head to the other garage (or home!) if it’s full. And the line to get into the garage must have been 20 cars long! It was insane. And it made me very happy to quit, because I don’t want to deal with that forever! Apparently, they nixed the new parking lot, so parking woes will continue.

And now that I just called my mom and Miss Emily is refusing a bottle, I must run home and feed her, so I’m off for now.

Customer Service In Today's Economy Is More Important Than Ever

Recently, an acquaintance of mine had trouble with her lawn service company of 2 years. This company skipped 2 weeks in a row, one for rain and one because a crew member had heat exhaustion (both understandable excuses.)On the next scheduled visit day, the crew actually did not show up until 8:20 at night, after baby had already been put down for the night, and dogs let out to roam, because she assumed the crew was once again not going to show up. Needless to say, the cacophony of lawnmowers whirring, dogs running and barking, and the general melee of folks roaming around the yard, baby woke up, and mom ran around like crazy trying to quiet back down the household.

The following day, she sent an email to the owner of the company to complain about the hour of service and request in the future that all service visits be conducted prior to 5:30pm. She also requested a refund for the week's service due to the inconvenience. She forwarded me the actual correspondence, and it was very reasonably stated. The owner replied the following day with a shockingly nasty email.

In her email, the owner stated (in a very unprofessional manner) that her company had many, many customers, that the time of day was not unreasonable, no way would she ever guarantee a time frame, no way was she offering a credit because the work was performed and she better pay up, and lastly, if she didn't like it, go find a new company.

Yes, I am serious. This came from the OWNER of the company.

Well, needless to say, my acquaintance immediately discontinued service, and hasn't had time to find a new one because she's been busy telling everyone she knows about the event.

As a business owner, I am still in disbelief. (Kinda makes me want to go into the lawn service business simply because I could most definitely snag her customer base with nary a blink by simply being nice, but that's beside the point.) Perhaps she just doesn't understand customer service, and believes because she has so many customers, she doesn't need to be nice to them. In this declining economy, luxury services such as lawn care are one of the first things a family will cut out. She should be nervous. Very nervous. Not arrogant. I wish I could have coffee with this woman. I wish I could make her see the domino effect of her email. Well, since I do not know her, perhaps some of you can benefit from this event. If nothing else, think of it as a quick refresher course in customer service basics.

1. When a longtime customer has a complaint, whether you think it's valid or not, that complaint deserves attention. A phone call, not an email.

2. Apologize. Even if you don't believe your company was in the wrong. The customer thinks you are. So apologize. This isn't an ego contest. The customer is paying you, therefore, they are in the higher position. Apologize.

3. Apologize again.

4. If the customer has already told you what it will take to remedy it, do it. Anything less will not satisfy the customer, as they've already told you what will. In this case, the customer wanted to be credited a week's lawn service which costs, by the way, less than $40), and to have her lawn serviced sometime within a 10 hour timeframe.

5. If for some reason, you cannot accommodate the requested remedy, have a darn good reason why not and offer an alternative - an alternative that appears to give the customer more than they asked for.

6. If the customer has not suggested a remedy, ask. ASK!! Say these words, "Again, I can't apologize enough, how can we make this right with you?"

7. Agree on the remedy and follow through. Then follow up to ensure the customer truly is satisfied. When you follow up, apologize again, and thank the customer for allowing you to remedy the situation.

Had the owner of the lawn service company followed even one of the above, she may still have a customer. But she didn't. She allowed her own arrogance of being The Owner override her common sense. Because really, over $40 (the requested credit), and her adamant statements about being right and the customer being wrong, she just lost guaranteed revenue for the rest of this season of at least $400, future seasons with the same customer, and the word of mouth recommendation to others. (Which now is a word of caution - even more damaging.)

Just a word to the wise to all small business owners - in this economy, your customer service skills, or lack thereof, may very well be the thing that keeps you putting food on your table, or not.

The Plane Ride Home

I was dreading the plane ride back to Dallas. I knew my mom could help me get through security, but no one was flying home with me. It would just be me, an 11 week-old and a 3 year-old. An 11 week-old that’s been having daily blowouts, I might add. I was really nervous about gate checking Emily’s car seat and stroller, and nervous about bathroom breaks. All in all, it went really well. But should anyone else decide they want to travel with two small children, here’s what I did.

First, I bought the Safeguard Go car seat for Megan. It works for kids 20+ pounds that are 1 year or older. It’s a 5-point car seat until 60lbs, and then a backless booster from 60-100lbs. It folds into a little bag and is lightweight. I love it. I checked the seat in its bag with the rest of our luggage. It would have been easy to carry on the plane and throw in the overhead bin, but I really didn’t need one more thing to carry, so we just checked it normally.

Next, I brought the Snap ‘n Go stroller for Emily and put her infant seat on it, then threw the base for the seat into the basket of the stroller. Emily was either in the sling or in her car seat in the stroller while we went through the airport. Megan is good at staying close, so she just walked next to me (although I did entertain the idea of bringing the Sit ‘n Stand stroller so Megan could ride, but that stroller is just bigger than I wanted to deal with – I love it, though!). Since you have to take everyone’s shoes and jackets off at security, and take babies out of slings and such, and collapse strollers, my mom got a pass to help me through security. (I would like to take this time to note that American Airlines always tells us they can’t give security passes. They say it’s an FAA regulation. Alaska Airlines, on the other hand, is nice and understanding and gives them out, because they understand getting through security with small children is ridiculously difficult. So, clearly, it is not an FAA regulation. And it really annoys me every time American says it is.)

I brought a giant diaper bag backpack, and Megan brought her own little carry on. So, we had two carry-ons, the sling, the stroller, infant car seat and base going through the airport. It sounds like a ton, but it was manageable, even on my own. Although, I was worried about how to get the stroller, car seat and base collapsed and gate checked, because I didn’t want to check them with the luggage. I ended up snapping the infant car seat to the base and balancing it on top of the stroller. I put Emily in her sling, then just needed one hand to take the carseat off the stroller and to collapse the stroller. It was easier than I thought.

The plane ride itself went really well, too. Now, I won’t kid myself and think it will always be like this. I know Emily was at the easiest age to travel with. But still, it went well, and I would (and will!) do it again. Emily ate and slept and pooped, of course, because that’s what babies do. The first time she pooped, Megan wanted to stay in her seat and watch her DVD. Fine. So I walked back with Emily to change her in the bathroom, and Megan stayed put. I got Emily changed, but when I was walking back to my seat, saw Megan heading the other direction. She had taken off her headphones, paused her movie, unbuckled her seatbelt, and gotten up on her own. My big girl! I caught up with her, and she said she had to go potty. Oh boy, here it comes. All three of us were headed to the teeny tiny airplane bathroom. And when we got in, Megan insisted I go potty first. So, with Emily in the sling, and Megan just in front of me, I crouched down and went. (I will take this time to note that when traveling with small children, always wear sweats or some sort of pant that comes off without buttoning, so that if your child is in the Bjorn or sling, you can easily pull your pants up or down with one hand.) Then I got up and moved aside so Megan could go. It worked, although none of us could have been too much bigger! Oh, and 20 minutes after we got back to our seat, Megan had to go again. Good times. But, it was doable. We got through it. I have no desire to attempt to travel with more children than my two, but I can do it with two. Thank goodness!

They were hiding where?

We’re in Seattle now, having fun playing with family. I was raised here, and in many ways, it still feels like home. My parents are here, my sister and her family, my aunt and uncle, cousins, and several friends from high school with whom I still keep in touch. My sister has two kids – a 7 year-old girl, Lauren, and a 5 year-old boy, Mason. Megan and Mason are the best of friends. This week, they’ve particularly enjoyed playing hide-and-seek. Of course, their version of hiding is putting their hands over their eyes, while not really leaving the room, so they’re pretty easy to find, but it’s still cute. We keep finding them in random rooms, crouching on the floor, rear ends in the air, squealing their sweet little kid squeals.

Last night, they were playing hide-and-seek in my parents’ laundry room, which is just off the family room where the rest of us were talking. They got very quiet, so I figured I’d better check on them. I looked in the laundry room, and saw the dryer door open. I looked in the dryer, and there were Megan and Mason, hands over their eyes, giggling. In the dryer! The both of them! I yelled to my sister to come see and grabbed my camera, all the while telling the kids how bad an idea it was to be in the dryer and how they should never, ever go in there again. But really, it was a little funny and cute. Neither of them could have turned it on, but still – not a good place to play. And believe me, my sister and I hammered that into their heads. They won’t be playing in the dryer anymore.

I’m still glad I have a picture of it, though.

My first flight with two kids.

Recently, I attempted my first flight with two children. It sounds brave and bold, but the truth is, my sister flew down first to help me fly back up, so I really can’t be commended. But as well as the flight itself went, I really have to share our pre-flight tales of woe.

First of all, my sister flew down on a Saturday morning, from Seattle to Dallas. She was supposed to arrive around 2:00pm, but at about 1:30, a giant thunderstorm rolled in. So instead of landing in Dallas, she landed in San Antonio. Not good. It should be said that my sister has had some really bad weather when she visited me. The first time she came, it snowed, and I couldn’t even pick her up from the airport, so she ended up taking Super Shuttle, which was not a good experience for her. Another time, it iced. And another time, there were thunderstorms, and she was stuck at the airport – with her toddler – for 6 hours before just coming back to our house and trying again the next day. So the fact that she landed in San Antonio was really not good for her opinion of Dallas. She finally got her around 6:30pm. Oops.

Our flight Sunday morning was scheduled to leave at 7:00am. We live pretty close to the airport, so leaving the house at 5:45am gave us plenty of time to get to our flight. But even leaving at 5:45am means getting up awfully early, including waking the kids up. Megan was so excited for a trip, though, the second we woke her up, she was wide awake and her usual chatty self. My husband checked the flight just before we left the house, and said, “You know, it’s weird. The flight from Seattle here looks like it returned to Seattle and hasn’t left there yet, but your flight is still on time. You’d think they’d need the plane from that flight for your flight.” Weird indeed. But perhaps they were using a different plane, and since our flight was still showing on time, and it was just an hour and a half before departure, surely everything was fine.

So we get to the airport to check our bags, and had the following exchange.
Agent: The flight is probably going to leave here around 8:30am. There was a mechanical issue, so it hasn’t left Seattle yet. [Note: It’s now 6:15am.]
Me: But if it hasn’t left Seattle yet, there’s no way it will leave here at 8:30. It’s a four hour flight here!
Agent: But there’s a two hour time difference! [Seriously, this is what she said. As if a four hour flight suddenly becomes a two hour flight because of a time change.]
Me: [giving up, since logic clearly escapes her] What happened with the previous plane?
Agent: It took off and was a quarter of the way here, but there was a mechanical issue so it had to return to Seattle. Then, they had to take everyone AND THEIR STUFF [she emphasized this, as if they typically leave the “stuff” and only take the people] off the plane and rebook everyone onto the new plane they got.

So many issues here, most of which I noted above. But they got a new plane. There’s no rebooking! You just give people the same seats on a different aircraft! She just wasn’t the brightest bulb. The good news was, she allowed us to use upgrade certificates to sit in first class, and she shouldn’t have since we were on mileage tickets. Hey, I wasn’t complaining!

Oh, and the flight? It was easy peasy. Emily ate while we took off, slept for 3 hours, pooped a few times, ate again, and we were there. My sister sat by Megan, who watched movies the whole time and made one bathroom trip. Getting through security wasn’t the most fun thing I’ve ever done, but with two adults, it was manageable. And I’m pumped that the flight itself was good! Now I just hope the flight home isn’t the opposite!

Who knew? I'm a drug addict.

I want a new drug
One that won't hurt my head
One that won't make my mouth too dry
Or make my eyes too red

One that won't make me nervous
Wondering what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you
When I'm alone with you


Okay, it's not what you think. New research has found that a new Mom's pleasure receptors in the brain (typically associated with food, sex and drug addiction) are activated at seeing your own child smile. Your baby's smiles are a natural high! I remember telling my friends how tired I was after having my little ones (I've got more than one hence the "addict" part) but just a little smile from one of them and I would completely forget my exhaustion, be elated and gain energy to keep going despite lack of sleep or any real rest. Guess I wasn't lying.

Let me share one of my baby high experiences with you. My firstborn had 'colic' -- which turned out to be severe food allergies though we didn't know it at the time -- and I remember the nights of no sleep for many months with no idea of why my baby was hurting and still having to go to work the next morning. Ugh! Luckily for me, my DH was able to work from home during that tough time so I knew she was in the best of care. But in the midst of all that heartache, my dearest daughter had the best disposition and I always said it was her smiles that gave me the strength to make it through each day and night. Clearly, that was not a subjective feeling but quite literally, based in this research, her dear precious smiles did make me feel better and heal me in more ways than I knew then. Motherhood and nature are amazing.

After the news a while back about proven post-partum memory loss for at least 1 year, it is nice to have science 'prove' the nice things of becoming a mom, too. After all, we moms always knew them and felt them but somehow having science quantify and qualify it with data for the world adds a different type of 'cred' to it.

I'm actually visiting my (not so) little sister with her bundle of joy which while not the same as having my own is about as close I will ever get to having a darling angel without giving birth myself. I am here to tell you fellow Moms... those smiles work even if you are not the birth mom. I think it is the mom in your heart that sets it off. I am off to get my baby high with my most handsome little nephew... ahh.