Well, word to the wise around here...don't drink the water. It seems we're all pregnant, or just gave birth, or are attending to new arrivals in extended family. So while we were already all moms, launching a company for moms...we're now all enjoying another trip through motherhood. Which got me thinking about the months I have ahead of me and how I'll handle them the second time around with a lot more things on my plate. One thing I won't do? Fall prey again to this man (or one like him). Enjoy the chuckle at my expense as I relate to you the worst advice I have received while pregnant. (And please - send good thoughts my way that this entry will retain the Worst Advice title once this pregnancy is over.)
When I was about 6 months pregnant, a man whom I did not know at work cornered me in the break room to give me advice about what to do when I had my baby. Few things immediately come to mind, don't they?
1. Hormones & baby advice don't play well together.
2. Hormones & baby advice from a stranger really don't play well together.
3. Hormones & baby advice from a stranger who is a man - well, them's just fightin' words all 'round.
He was an older man, and had bad breath, but that's not important to the story (though it would have probably played a prominent role if I was still in 1st trimester all-day sickness mode). He had me cornered for about 45 minutes talking to me about febrile seizures and how they're perfectly normal and I shouldn't freak out at all when it happens and no need to go to the hospital or anything. My baby will eventually outgrow them, so I need to just be calm about it and boy aren't I glad he knows all about it and can save me the stress, right? No problem, he just sees it as his duty to help out others when he can.
....
Let's pause for a moment and consider the ramifications of talking to a 1st time pregnant lady with borderline obsessive-compulsive tendencies with most definitely a Type A++ personality about Things That Will Go Wrong.
Okay, first? He owes my employer a heck of a lot of payroll dollars for all the time over the next few months I spent frantically googling "febrile seizures", and long distance charges for me to read aloud articles to my friends and get their opinions. (and later - maybe some of my pediatrician's salary for having to talk to me repeatedly about it. Would love to see my secret chart from those first 6 months.)
Second? Total liar. Febrile Seizures are not normal! Sure, they may not be an indicator of dire diseases or anything, but they ARE far from normal.
Third? Total jerk. Seriously. I ended up moving across country before I had my febrile-seizure-free baby, but if I still lived there I think I'd wait for him some night in the parking lot and just...I don't know...kick him in the shins or something. It's been almost 5 years now and I still think about doing this a lot. I do have some vacation time....no, no, no.
In any case, that really took the cake for me on the bad advice thing. I will never forgive that man. My hairdresser I forgave after the bangs grew out, but the febrile-seizures?? Nah - I'll be lugging that story around forever.
And PS - the best advice? That good enough is, really, good enough.
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